15 Inspirational Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield
Posted on Sat Feb 03, 2018 Posted by Admin
1. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
2. When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
3. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
4. My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
5. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
6. I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
7. I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
8. What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
9. My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
10. My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
11. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
12. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
13. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
14. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
15. I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.