Quotes

15 Inspirational Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield

Posted on Sat Feb 03, 2018 Posted by Admin

1.  I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

 

2.  When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

 

3.  My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

 

4.  My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.

 

5.  I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

 

6.  I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

 

7.  I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

 

8.  What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

 

9.  My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

 

10. My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

 

11. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.

 

12. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

 

13. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

 

14. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

 

15. I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.