15 Inspirational Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield

Posted on Sat Feb 03, 2018 Posted by Admin

1.  I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.


2.  When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.


3.  My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.


4.  My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.


5.  I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.


6.  I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.


7.  I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.


8.  What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.


9.  My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.


10. My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.


11. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.


12. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.


13. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.


14. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.


15. I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.