1.  Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
 
2.  There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
 
3.  Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
 
4.  I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
 
5.  What a nice night for an evening.
 
6.  What’s another word for Thesaurus?
 
7.  If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
 
8.  Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
 
9.  I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
 
10. If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
 
11. Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won’t die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn’t have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.
 
12. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
 
13. I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
 
14. It’s like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules.
 
15. I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.